Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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