wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
