Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
