Define "chronic" masturbator.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
