In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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