When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
