I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
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