You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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