goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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