but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
