She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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