What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize