I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
