I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
