oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
