I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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