i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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