There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
