i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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