No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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