Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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