we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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