was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
