and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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