My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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