Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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