thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
