Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My pussy is not your playground.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
