The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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