my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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