He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
