i always forget guys have bellybuttons
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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