can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
