So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
