u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
