I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
