This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
