And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
