so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
