Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
