glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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