walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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