I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
