3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Me too!
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
