You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She's the barista slut.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
