It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
