we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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