Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
