Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
