I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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