just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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