i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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