i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
