No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize