Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
