SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
