you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize