i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
