i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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