Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
