Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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