I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
