maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Did I show you my penis last night?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
