I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
