i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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