Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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