can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
This baby is an asshole
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Fuck me I smell like cheese
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
